Normally, when things are going well in your life (e.g. Work is stable, your relationships are solid, and there’s nothing obviously wrong) you would expect to feel calm, happy or content.
When this isn’t the case and you are feeling uneasy and a sense of anxiety has creeped in, it is confusing, and at times irritating, to feel a sense of anxiety without any apparent cause.
If this sounds like you then there is a positive message that is often difficult to accept; you are not alone.
Most people experience anxiety in positive or quiet times but very few mention this, as they think it is something that they must be doing “wrong”.
Often your mind and body are just not accustomed to safety; they may feel this sense of calm is abnormal.
Why This Happens To People
One reason this is happening is because of how our minds work. Our brains are always on the lookout for danger even if theres nothing around that seems threatening.
Feeling calm can be really strange for people who have dealt with stress, uncertainty or bad things in the past.
When everything seems okay our minds start to wonder “How long will this last?” and “What if something bad happens?” and instead of relaxing in the moment our minds start to worry about whats next.
This doesn’t mean that someone is negative or always expecting things. It’s just that our minds want to be prepared.
For some people feeling calm can be a bit weird. If your body and mind are used to being tense or stressed a relaxed state can feel abnormal.
Our minds might even create worries just to get back, to a feeling even if that feeling isn’t a good one.
What Keeps It Going
Once this pattern starts some habits can keep it going without you even realizing it. Overthinking is an one.
You might begin to analyze your situation looking for problems that are not really there or imagine bad things that might happen. The more you think about it the more those worries feel real.
You might also tend to doubt things that happen. Of enjoying whats going well you might wonder if its going to last or if something bad will happen next.
This makes it hard to relax or feel like you’re really, in the moment.
There is also the pressure to keep everything. When life feels good you might be afraid of losing that feeling. This can make you feel like you need to keep everything ” right ” which adds more tension.
How to Respond
If you observe this happening to yourself it is about shifting your response not trying to shove it away.
Simply saying to yourself what is happening at the moment, accepting it, is a good place to start. Perhaps by telling yourself it is your mind trying to keep you safe-even though this may be unhelpful.
Bringing your attention back to the moment is beneficial here.
So it’s not about trying to think positively and not imagine what will go wrong but about really connecting with what is happening here and now.
It may simply involve tuning into the room or taking some slow breaths.
There may take a long time to practice simply letting the positive experience unfold without analysis.
You do not have to try to convince yourself that things will always continue to be good-rather just become more comfortable with not knowing and allowing the calm moments to just be.
In Conclusion
Anxiety when things are good can be a really confusing feeling, but the reasons for it are always more in-depth than you might think.
You’re not actively sabotaging yourself. You’re simply trying to protect yourself in ways that made sense to you at some point in your life.
Through continued learning and understanding, it’s absolutely possible to rewire that pattern of experiencing your life, and learn to feel more comfortable when positive things are happening.
This is the kind of issue where therapy may be beneficial to explore the root of this pattern and build a sense of safety in the present moment.
It’s okay for you to be peaceful. And it’s okay to enjoy when things are going well without expecting them to stop. Learning to love yourself is enough in these cases.
